Our government called. We answered.

One day, in the fall of 1999, the phone rang. Shaina picked up. "Hello?" Meanwhile, Julie (a.k.a. Juj) was doing her free weights. Julie said: "Who is it?" Shaina said to Julie: "It's the government." Then Shaina listened for a long time and then she said: "OK cool." Then she hung up the phone. Julie kept doing her free weights. Shaina sat down on the floor and said to Julie: "Juj, the government called and they want us to make a public access tv show to lure the aliens to earth. They want it to be repetitive and strange and lo-fi and they want us to wear fake mustaches a lot." Julie said: "OK" and walked into a wall. From that day on they worked on the show and they called it "The Spew." It made them super stars. They got blowjobs everywhere they went. One day in early 2008, the government called again. Shaina picked up. "Hello?" When Shaina hung up, she delivered the bad news to Julie. The show was canceled. The aliens had come to earth and the show was no longer needed. But in September of 2017, the government called again. Shaina said: "Hello?" After a quick phone call, she told Julie the new news. "Julie," said Shaina. "The government wants us to make a website." And that is what this is. It is a website. We are always here to serve the United States of American.

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